Six Conservative Guys

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Friday, October 17, 2003
A reader responds:

Forwarded to us by Unclemargaret:

Let me tell you how corporations work....

They are led by a guy like me and I surround myself with seven or more board members that if we act together, we can take this company for a huge amount of money over a long or short period of time. My board members are loyal to me and I to them. And no...if we fail at our quest, will we be out of jobs.

That will take time and by then we will have insured ourselves, and two generations of family that follow...a golden parachute. (A nine hundred thousand dollar yearly salary, and I forget all the extras. Plane, pocket money, stock purchased and options to buy.

I live in New England with my family and I fly into Western New York on
Monday afternoon and then I'm home to hug the kids by Wednesday early evenings. Industry once showed everyone how well they were doing by how many cars were in the parking lot. No not auto manufacturing or government work here.

Now we are controlled by the stock market and shareholders. If we can't keep our numbers up with sales and product, lets do it with a massive layoff. Those employees left will fear their future and will have to take up the slack where their piers have left off. They will and have to. Do we fire the deadwood? Ohh, Some will throw their desk radios across the parking lot as they leave. Many of them will be the people who made your job easy.
They answered their phones and returned your messages. With excellent reviews they disappeared, most without a trace.

We are not embarrassed by keeping the ones that nearly put the company's
name in the dumpster. The name is intact and if we have to, we can sell that.
Let's first get rid of John B, He's scary. Even I don't believe or understand how a guy like that thinks. (I could name the one I'm thinking of) As the unemployed leave the building we will start one of many rumors that there will be more layoffs. This will keep those who have survived (for they are also the wounded) in line, scared and working hard. Let's fire 3 at a time.

Reward upper management by keeping them totally intact with promotions
and for the VPs, 50 new cars or the choice equivallant in cash. Now let's sell the compay. Who's main company is now headed by a damn good looking
woman, let's call her Jill. More incompedent than I, she lasts about 3 maybe 4 years and almost put's the a major part of an industy into the crapper.
I always wondered what happened to the two bodyguards she flew around the county with? My bet is she keeps them on along with the maid.

And the truth is, I'm not worth all the money I'm being paid, thou I do like my salary defended by a few and so well. Just between you and I... I would have done the job for a lot less.

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