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Monday, February 07, 2005
Question and Answer Guy - UPDATED!!

Hey Mr. Question and Answer Guy, please answer a couple of questions below:

1. Which SCG state is the squishiest? (In alphabetical order:) Connecticut, Maine, Maryland, or New York? (I left Virginia out, as it’s not in the running…yet).

New York is not squishy. It is technically a kleptocracy, along the lines of Nigeria. Maine is technically part of Canada. Connecticut is a suburb of New York City. Of the remaining states, Vermont is more squishy because they wear crazy hippie clothes even in the dead of winter.

2. Who is more generally more conservative: the Irish, Greek, Italian, German (is JPC German??), or Portuguese?

The Italians are pretty conservative, in terms of old school reverence for tradition and authority. But they steal. The Irish are pretty conservative, in terms of their love of a good fight. They also are very family oriented (possibly because they are catholic, possibly because they are too drunk to use birth control correctly). But they are lazy; Greeks invented the City-state, and fraternities are modeled after secret greek societies. But they also enjoyed wrestling other men in the nude; Germans work hard, they love authority and tradition. But they have a crap record when it comes to liberty; I don't know about the Portugese, but they sound a lot like the spanish. They also steal;

Americans on the other hand, love tradition, are the most religious people on earth, are family oriented, work hard, drink hard, and like to wrestle WOMEN in the nude. We generally don't steal, but we will fight like hell for what is ours and stand strong with those who do the same.

3. Hillary is poised for 2008. Who will be running from the GOP side?

Funny you should ask, because Frank Luntz actually focus grouped this question. Voters wanted someone who demonstrated the party could be tough, but sensitive, who knew how to be a team player, and was also tough as nails to stand up to the terrorist. Luntz concluded the perfect candidate was actually this guy:

4. Iran - will Democracy become reality in Iran on its own, or will it need a hard nudge?

You nudge something from one side. You shake the hell out of it from two sides. So technically, we will be shaking up the Mullahs just a little bit.

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