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Tuesday, December 13, 2005
 
Where have you gone Dolph Lungren?

The new Hollywood political darling is "Brokeback Mountain" - apologies to George Clooney's pseudo-intellectual screeds "Syriana" and "Good Night and Good Luck".

With box office returns in a free fall Hollywood has apparently turned further inward in its death spiral towards irrelevance.

Why are Americans not going to the movies? It's simple - they don't make movies people like me want to see. Today I made my Christmas list - for movies I chose three Frank Capra films and "On the Waterfront." Hollywood is simply no longer capable of making a straight-forward (no pun intended) shoot-em-up where the bad guys aren't Americans and the good guys are.

The question must be asked - if there is money to be made in these movies (and there always has been) - why aren't they being made? Has Hollywood become so paralyzed by liberal softminded fuzzyness that they would rather be toasted by the elites than entertain the rest of us?

When Gone With the Wind came out during the depression - it was an escape. People crammed together into massive theaters to relive the glory of a bygone age and escape the reality of their lives. When The Sands of Iwo Jima came out Americans got to relive the bravery of our World War II heroes through John Wayne.

Today we no longer see these celebrations of bravery and the American spirit. Today we see gay porn with a hint of plot and they call it art. No wonder they don't call them Motion Pictures anymore. High Noon was a Motion Picture -Brokeback Mountain is just a movie.

This movie will win Oscars - maybe not Best Picture - but it will be nominated for a whole bunch as well. Critics will, and already have, claimed it as the best movie of the century. However, if you've read the reviews and seen the movie - you may find one thing missing. Hidden amongst the "Gorgeous pacing", "Masterful cinematography" and luscious emoting the one thing no one wants to tell you is this movie really isn't about anything.

Boy meets boy, boy loves boy, boy loses boy, boy settles for girl. Switch boy with girl and I will bet you money (and I'm sure there's a film studies major at Vassar writing his thesis on this very topic) that at any time on my TV 24 hours a day I can find a movie with that exact same warmed-over heterosexual theme. In fact - all I need to do is keep my TV on jump between the Hallmark and Lifetime networks (although the only reason I'd need to actually jump is when Lifetime shows one of their "boy beats girl" movies) to see these movies 24 hours a day.

This movie will make money - no doubt about it - not Terminator 2 money, but a decent box. But would you rather sell wine and cheese or 'popularly priced' beer? Sadly, Hollywood is now a wine and cheese zone and beer drinkers like us need no longer apply.

But that's ok - The makers of these sensitive and slightly profitable movies can condescend to the rest of us - try to "wake us" from out intollerant bourgeois lives with their "eye opening" work. They can wear their ribbons and make their discombobulated acceptance speeches with a smug superiority.

Their box office recepts will continue to fall and the crowds will continue to stay home.

But eventually someone will make the next Rambo II or Under Siege.

And when they do, I, and the rest of my beer drinking, America loving friends will turn off our DVD players, get into our massive SUVs and head down to the googleplex to see a movie.


Comments:
"Hollywood is simply no longer capable of making a straight-forward (no pun intended) shoot-em-up where the bad guys aren't Americans and the good guys are."

Later you say you hope to see more movies like Rambo.

Bwaaa! Yeah.... a movie where a disgruntled former soldier comes back to America after having his brains scrambled in Vietnam and kills policemen who are all painted as corrupt and immoral. Awesome!

And there aren't too many film makers from the 30's more lefty than Frank Capra!

The reason box office receipts are down is because of home theater. People are opting to stay home to watch movies on their giant televisions. The average person watches more hollywood movies today than ever before - on cable and DVD.

You can't afford a DVD. George Clooney is richer than you.

Did you guys like the movie "traffic?"
 
Law School Chris makes good point( I once tried changing my name to Michigan Mark, and it was not honored, so I will not honor your name change). Braveheart has once again misunderstood a post, even though it doesn't involve Bush. Good movies are out there, but they must be found among the box loads of homosexual/liberal/A political crap. We celebrate gays because hollywood has told us we must(I'm throwing a coming out party for a friend this weekend) We hate Bush because hollywood tells us we must( I'm joing an anti-recruitment protest next weekend). We are against the death penalty becuase hollywood told us Tookie did no wrong( I held a candle in the snowy streets of Grand Rapids until my fingers burned). We hate military recruiters because they target the underprivilaged, or so the folks at berkly said, and berkly is close enough to hollywood for me to draw a line to it( I regularly berate myself).
 
haha - thanks Michigan Mark! (I just figured I should prepare for that sunny day in June of 2007 when I finally get the 'Esq.' a little early)

Two points - 1st - notice I said Rambo II - not Rambo, First Blood.
2nd - Its funny - Frank Capra was what you might consider a little left of center during the 1930's. But compare his movies, which celebrate patriotism (especially his "Why We Fight" series) to the liberalism that spews from Hollywood today. You used to be able to hate Sherman Potter - but love America.
 
Why would you hate Sherman Potter? He was tough at first, but Hawkeye and BJ came to love him as much as Henry Blake.

If you are talking about Its a Wonderful Life, as far as I know, Mr. Potter's first name was not mentioned (He is listed as "Mr. Potter") on IMBD.com. Harry Morgan played Col. Sherman Potter on M*A*S*H.
 
BJ was a sap and really marked the beginning of the end for that show. Trapper John, Spearchucker, Frank, Henry - the original cast was excellent, and the lefty screen writers were a lot less annoying then they were with second crew.
 
You're right - I meant Mr. Potter for It's A Wonderful Life (No idea where Sherman came from!)
 
Jason you need to apologize for writing the word spearchucker. Even though it was a legitimate character on the show, many well conditioned Americans will find it offensive. So say your sorry.
 
Sorry Mark - and have a peaceful winter solstice.
 
Your forgiven, but placed very high on the "naughty" list.
 
"naughty" - that would admit we have normative views of what 'bad' and 'good' are - when we all 'know' that such standards are outdated estimations used to opress women, minorities and the GLBTAWFPPU community.

Your opressive comments should be censored for the negative impact they will no doubt have on differently aged visitors to this site.

Watch your mail for a cease and desist order, a civil suit for extreme mental cruelty and wait for a knock on the door from the police you hate filled white male you.

Keep your Eurocentric heteronormative thoughts out of our heads!
 
All right I'm Gay, with a capital G...no suh.
 
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