Six Conservative Guys
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006
T.I.B.S. IS DEAD -- Long Live T.I.B.S.!
It's official. T.I.B.S. is no longer Trapped in a Blue State. He's now Free in a Red State!
Ahhhh, how he's missed the great Commonwealth.
I'll update y'all [see I'm pickin' up the local slang already] wicked soon [oops, old slang dies hard] on e-mail.
In the meantime, I thought that I'd dispense a little bit of my wisdom for you on some current events:
1) Israel -- God gave it to Joshua, who am I to argue with that arrangement
1a) Hezbollah -- nuke 'em
2) Iran -- nuke 'em
3) Syria -- nuke 'em
4) Canada -- Invade, grab all of the Labatt's Blue and then nuk...oh, well, just feel sorry for 'em, they have to live in Canada after all
5) Sabres -- that's how it had to end right?
6) North Korea -- intercept it using an SM Block 3 interceptor fired from an Aegis cruiser and then...everybody say it with me now: "nuke 'em"
7) China -- Build bigger missile defenses ("first from the sea and then from space") and then...
8) Pope Benedict -- Habemus Papem! Like the encyclical on love, but would also like a little bit of the Panzer Pope that is hiding inside...faster please
9) Gay "marriage" -- yeah right
9a) No-fault divorce -- not so much
10) Embrionic stem cells -- definintely not so much
11) Iraq -- faster please, see 1, 2, 3, 6, and 7 above
12) SCOTUS -- Roberts still looking good, but a little nervous; Alito now third favorite Justice
13) Oil -- Friggin drill our friggin oil before the Cubans and Chinese do you friggin morons
14) Swirlees -- they're still girly and you still deserve TJ's constant picture links Sip
15) Global Warming -- okay class, repeat after me: "the earth gets hot, then it gets cold, then it gets hot, then it gets cold, then it gets hot, then it gets cold" -- been goin' on since day one and me driving gas guzzlin' trucks ain't gonna change it one way or the other
16) 2008 -- Allen is my horse right now. Great governor, okay Senator. Instincts are good. Romney would be 2nd choice right now but too pretty. Just say no to Rudy and McCain. SCOTUS and other judges still as important as WWIII (IV?) for long term health of USA and squishy GOPers will appoint squishy judges
17) SCG Roadtrips -- I'm ready for one, it's been 18 months
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