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Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Huck and Chuck…

Chuck Norris supports Mike Huckabee and that should be good enough for you…

• There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
• When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
• When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.
• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
• Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
• Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King...and got one.
• Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
• Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi
• On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.
• If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
• Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Chuck Norris has a winery. The grapes crush themselves when they see him coming.
• There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
• Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
• Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
• Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
• When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
• Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this “a slow Tuesday.”
• What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Chuck Norris’s fist.
• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
• There is no such thing as a lesbian, only girls who have not met Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

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